Thanks for not complaining…about a perfect situation?

13 10 2009

Scott Soshnick is probably a perfectly nice guy. But during two internships with investment banks and feeling uncomfortable having open on my company’s computer all day, I found myself in the Bloomberg sports section. Hopefully my interpretation of his dribble will make the articles’ far more readable. Either that or I’m sure you’ll find yourself some sound financial advice somewhere else on the website. The text in bold is from his article while the non-bold text is my response.

Oct. 7 (Bloomberg) —Let’s hear it for the Steinbrenner boys for not having heard from the Steinbrenner boys.

[Let’s hear it for Scott Soshnick for breaking his record of how long it takes to get through his article before he confuses me. 1 line!]

Not a peep. Not about on-field matters, anyway. Overpriced tickets, yes. Underperforming players, no.
[Ok, well that’s your whole article right there. Obviously the Steinbrenners aren’t going to be complaining because their team isn’t underperforming! They won 103 games in the regular season, were the overwhelming best team in the majors and just swept the twins in the ALDS.]

It’s hard to recall the last time the New York Yankees completed a season without an eruption from the owner’s suite.
[Good thing we have 5 billion different media organizations that are more than willing to remind us. Oh and there’s also that thing called the internet.]

Or, at the very least, a let’s-get-going missive issued through Howard Rubenstein, George Steinbrenner’s conduit to the clubhouse.
[Aka, his bedside nurse. I refuse to make an Alzheimer’s joke, but conduit to the clubhouse really just means personal statement maker.]

Rubenstein declined to comment on not having to comment.
[Again with these ridiculous paradoxical sentences.]

You can make a decent argument for any number of team Most Valuable Players this season for the Yankees, who open the postseason tonight at home.
[They swept. And waddya know…no complaints from Hank or Hal! Let’s hear it from the Steinbrenner boys for not hearing from the Steinbrenner boys!]