Thanks for not complaining…about a perfect situation?

13 10 2009

Scott Soshnick is probably a perfectly nice guy. But during two internships with investment banks and feeling uncomfortable having ESPN.com open on my company’s computer all day, I found myself in the Bloomberg sports section. Hopefully my interpretation of his dribble will make the articles’ far more readable. Either that or I’m sure you’ll find yourself some sound financial advice somewhere else on the website. The text in bold is from his article while the non-bold text is my response.



Oct. 7 (Bloomberg) —Let’s hear it for the Steinbrenner boys for not having heard from the Steinbrenner boys.

[Let’s hear it for Scott Soshnick for breaking his record of how long it takes to get through his article before he confuses me. 1 line!]

Not a peep. Not about on-field matters, anyway. Overpriced tickets, yes. Underperforming players, no.
[Ok, well that’s your whole article right there. Obviously the Steinbrenners aren’t going to be complaining because their team isn’t underperforming! They won 103 games in the regular season, were the overwhelming best team in the majors and just swept the twins in the ALDS.]

It’s hard to recall the last time the New York Yankees completed a season without an eruption from the owner’s suite.
[Good thing we have 5 billion different media organizations that are more than willing to remind us. Oh and there’s also that thing called the internet.]

Or, at the very least, a let’s-get-going missive issued through Howard Rubenstein, George Steinbrenner’s conduit to the clubhouse.
[Aka, his bedside nurse. I refuse to make an Alzheimer’s joke, but conduit to the clubhouse really just means personal statement maker.]

Rubenstein declined to comment on not having to comment.
[Again with these ridiculous paradoxical sentences.]

You can make a decent argument for any number of team Most Valuable Players this season for the Yankees, who open the postseason tonight at home.
[They swept. And waddya know…no complaints from Hank or Hal! Let’s hear it from the Steinbrenner boys for not hearing from the Steinbrenner boys!]

Jeter. A-Rod. Teixeira. Rivera. Allow me to fatten the list with the surname Steinbrenner, both Hal and Hank, who, unlike their Patton-loving pop, seem to understand that the emotional toll of a 162-game season calls more for finesse than fire.
[Actually, what I think they understand is that it would be idiotic to criticize THE BEST TEAM IN BASEBALL. How is this being overlooked here? You just named 3 of the best hitters in the AL and the best closer in the league. THIS TEAM IS AMAZING. THEY ARE ON PACE TO WIN A WORLD SERIES.]

Ownership kept quiet, even on June 9, when pitcher A.J. Burnett allowed three runs on five hits and five walks in 2 2/3 innings against the rival Red Sox. There was no carping the next day, either, when Boston improved to 7-0 for the season against the Yankees.
[A fair enough point. IF THE ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN IN JUNE! 119 days later makes this point pretty fucking irrelevant.]

Surely, I thought, we would hear from one of the Steinbrenners on June 11, when Boston made it eight wins in eight tries with a late-inning rally against C.C. Sabathia.
[No joke…you would have had a great article for June 11th.]

You have to know that in his heyday George Steinbrenner, who ceded day-to-day control of the club some time ago, would’ve ripped his newest underperforming multimillionaires, using words like pathetic, unacceptable and embarrassing.
[Personally, I find it pretty pathetic, unacceptable and embarrassing that with all of the major sports storylines currently developing that Scott Soshnick talks about things that happened to the Yankees 4 months ago.]

Steinbrenner’s sons, in a welcome change, left baseball matters to the baseball people.
[Right because the owners of a baseball team are certainly not baseball people. See: two comments below.]

Their father, after all, once trashed pitcher Hideki Irabu for failing to cover first base on a ground ball.
[Really? REALLY? This is the example that you’re going to use to emulate the great temper of George Steinbrenner. I hate you.]

So who would have guessed that Hal, who last year was named the team’s controlling partner, and his older brother Hank, placed in charge of baseball operations
[Good thing the director of baseball operations “in a welcome change, left baseball matters to the baseball people.” I hate you.]
would eschew bombast for a more Warren Buffett-like approach?
[Ah! Finally referencing the title of the article. Surely Warren Buffet will tie nicely into the topic of the MLB best NY Yankees and the lack of complaining by non-baseball people Hank and Hal Steinbrenner and decrepit, Alzheimer stricken owner George Steinbrenner. I am so confused.]

“There’s a key to the way Warren does it,” says my colleague Alice Schroeder, author of “The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life.” “He gives people complete rein on the front end. But he holds them very accountable for results.”
[Oh? Ok? Thanks for the interesting tid-bit?]

About the only things Steinbrenner, the elder, ever gave his baseball folks — either front end or back — were edicts, agita and pink slips.
[You’d be happy to know, Scott, that you’ve given me my agita quota for the week.]

The Boss, as he is known, was an incessant micromanager, regularly inserting himself into the clubhouse, not to mention dugout.
[Because god forbid the OWNER of a multi-billion dollar franchise, one that he basically turned around single handedly be concerned with what’s going on in the clubhouse. What is your point?]

Steinbrenner represented the antithesis of Buffett. That’s true of all his business interests,
[Hmm…except for the fact that they are both brilliant businessmen that are filthy rich?]

including his minor-league baseball team.
[This is like the 7th random point made in this article.]

Buffett is part owner of the Omaha Royals, Kansas City’s Triple-A affiliate. While the world’s second-richest man keeps tabs on the club’s attendance (highest since 2000), revenue (up) and plans for a new stadium, he doesn’t meddle in the day-to-day operations.
[Let’s count the ways in which this comparison is utterly idiotic.
1. Prior to his Alzheimer’s, George Steinbrenner was sole owner of the Yankees, and didn’t really dabble in many other business relations outside of the Yankees franchise. Warren Buffet: part owner.
2. Warren Buffet has like 100 different business ventures. The man buys and sells a new company every Thursday. George Steinbrenner IS the Yankees. He reinvented the franchise and made them what they are today.
3. New York Yankees vs. Omaha Royals. Which day-to-day operations are more important?
4. Why are we talking about George Steinbrenner in the first place! He has serious Alzheimers, hasn’t spoken to the press in years, and the Yankees are playing the best baseball since 2001! THERE’S NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!!!]

Buffett doesn’t make irate post-game telephone calls demanding an explanation for losing streaks or sloppy play. Nor does he issue ultimatums.
[Maybe it’s because of a certain WORLDWIDE FINANCIAL CRISIS. I mean really? We’re talking about a minor league affiliate of one of the worst franchises in baseball. I would be remotely surprised if Warren Buffet actually knew that he owned a stake in the Ohmaha Royals. What is a minor league team worth anyways? Half of them are probably severely in debt. Probably because their owners aren’t considered with the day-to-day operations.]

“He lets managers manage,” Stein said over the telephone the other day.
[Him and every other owner of every other sports team in the universe. That’s why they’re called managers.]

It’s hard enough for players in New York, where their every hiccup, miscue or dalliance is splashed across the back pages of the city’s tabloids, where every gaffe is endless fodder for sports talk-radio blowhards.
[Oh so we’re done talking about the Omaha Royals? Darn I was just starting to get excited about the plans for a new stadium!]

Mark Teixeira, for example, started the season slowly at the plate after signing an eight-year, $180 million contract.
[Mark Teixeira 2009: .292/.383/.565 with 39 HR and 122 RBI
Who cares if he murdered 4 opposing players in the first few weeks. It’s old news. He had an awesome MVPesq year. Oh and the guys he murdered were actually members of the Omaha Royals, so Warren Buffet was never even told about it. Crisis averted!]

The last thing he or any player needs is an owner publicly demanding better return on his investment.
[Pretty sure no one is demanding a better return on that investment.]

George Steinbrenner, as it happens, earlier this week did issue a statement through Rubenstein. It was praiseworthy, not prickly.
[Alzheimers is a terrible disease. George Steinbrenner has had it for quite a while now. Although it’s been kept under wraps and controlled by the Yankees PR, it’s very well known that George Steinbrenner doesn’t make any actual statements to the media anymore. You have to be pretty ignorant to take any of them seriously.]

Rest easy, Yankees fans. The team belongs to Hal and Hank now. And they recognize these players distinguished themselves without any backbiting from ownership.
[They also recognize the utter absurdity involved in criticizing this team. This is the best chemistry they’ve had in years, they dominated Boston in the second half of the season, and they just swept the ALDS.]

Ask any veteran of the George Steinbrenner years just how valuable that is.
[Also, while your asking said veteran these retarded questions, ask him what George was like when the Yankees were winning World Series. The answer is very simple: silent. I guarantee if the Yankees choke in the playoffs you will hear something from non-baseball men Hal & Hank. Let’s hope for the sake of me not having to read more Scott Soshnick nonsense that this is not the case.]
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