NY Knicks- An Inside Look

6 10 2009

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[hears knock at the door]

Donnie Walsh: Come in

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Mike D’antoni: Hey Donnie, you wanted to see me?

DW: Yes Mike, We need to talk about this upcoming season. I think I’ve mapped out a pretty solid plan to get Lebron next year.

MD: Lay it on me.

DW: We’ve got two guys on the books that we need to somehow trade, Jared Jeffries and Eddy Curry. Eddy is going to cost us 11 million so we have to get rid of him quick.

MD: Um, I know you’ve only been here for a year…but have you seen Eddy Curry lately?

DW: Yes, I know he didn’t play at all last year. Sure he has a heart problem and chronic weight issues. But we’ve got to start generating some positive news about him so that we can trade him!

MD: Okay, well you can talk to the head of PR to get some positive spin going. I’m going to have the training staff get him on a new regimen to bring his weight down.

DW: That works. But we can’t be straight forward with him and let him know we want to trade him or else he’s not going to work out. Let’s bring him in here and explain that we desperately need his production to make a playoff run.

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MD: HAHAHAHA! Playoff run! Eddy Curry production! God I’m glad you’re working here instead of Isaiah. You’re always good for a laugh. Plus, Isaiah would have seriously thought that Curry could actually play basketball.

[floor begins to shake]

[door opens]

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Eddy Curry: Yo coach…old guy…waddup?

DW: Listen Eddy…We think this is gonna be your year. Sure, you played in about 3 games last season, but we really think that you’re ready to show some of that All Star stuff everyone talked about when you were drafted.

EC: Yea, I’m down for whatever. Just gimme some playing time and I’ll do the rest.

[proceeds to eat 6 hot dogs]

MD: Whoa, Eddy…take it easy. I’ve been meaning to talk about your eating habits…We really think that if you lose some weight you’ll be a force in my run an gun offense.

eddycurry

EC: BUT I’M HUNGRY COACH!

DW: That’s fine Eddy, we just think that you should exercise a bit more, maybe curb the binge eating just a tad.

EC: Ugh. Fine… Hey, when do I get my paycheck?

1 MONTH LATER…TRAINING CAMP BEGINS

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EC: Hey coach! Check it out, I’m a regular old Michael Phelps.

MD: Um, Michael Phelps is actually a swimmer, not a gymnast.

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EC: FUCK NO HE AIN’T. HE TOLD ME HE WAS AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST WHEN HE SOLD ME WEED LAST WEEK. AND THERE SURE AS HELL AIN’T NO SWIMMING IN THE OLYMPICS.

New Jersey Nets vs New York Knicks

MD: Whatever you say Eddy, just finish your workout and go eat your veggie smoothie.

[Curry loses balance, lands on the ground]

[Madison Square Garden shakes]

EC: OWWWWWWWWW!!!! MY LEG!!!!!

LATER THAT DAY

MD: How bad is it Doc?

Doctor: I’m afraid it’s a torn calf muscle. I suggest lots of rest, certainly no exercise, and make sure to get lots of protein to build up strength.

MD: [blows brains out]

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2 responses

7 10 2009
Anthony Biondo

HAHAHA dude this is great – as a basketball fan this is awesome. It seems like you don’t really like Eddy Curry – I don’t know just a wild guess. The picture of him with the man boobs is classic.

8 10 2009
Dirty Chimichanga…continued « Sports [with brackets]

[…] 8 10 2009 I loved KSK’s first two installments [enough to even try out the picture dialogue myself]. Here’s the third installment. I think it’s hilarious regardless of whether […]

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